June 10

Say Good Bye to the Yo-Yo

Part of being single for an extended period of time is the journey through self awareness and the analysis of the self that comes along with it. Some people do not focus on this, some do, and some go through a period of complete enlightenment.

I’ve always had a pretty good awareness of my own self – because really, I’ve hung out with that person a lot over the last few years.

It wasn’t so long ago, however, that despite my best efforts – I was uncomfortable with my physical self. I have always had battles with weight my entire life, yoyo-ing back and forth between the ‘skinny pants’ and the ‘fat pants’ .  I’ve never been excessively ‘large’, but I’ve also never been that super skinny chick at the beach, either. I don’t really want to be.

There was a point last year, however, where I found myself hitting an all time low (kind of an oxymoron I guess… more like an all time high)… and even my ‘fat pants’ didn’t fit. I had tipped the scale at 200lbs.. hitting a size 12-14 – which wasn’t much, but for me, my frame, height, and my own personal self – it was downright uncomfortable.

The number on the scale though is besides the point. I was not the best I could be and I wasn’t fully happy with myself. I was only happy ‘enough’. And what’s the fun in happy enough – when there can be more?

Someone once told me, that before you can begin to make changes you need to positively accept that which you currently have.

So I did.

I sat naked in front of the mirror and stared into my own eyes day after day until I could come to a place of acceptance. That being said, there is a difference between acceptance and being content. Contentment keeps you in the same place.

I had been so consumed with my outside surroundings and ‘things’ that we perceive as ‘home’ that I had forgotten about my real home. My own body.

When you really pay attention to it, it’s a pretty amazing thing. I decided that I would stop focusing on what I didn’t have in a negative fashion, and improve on what I did.

Dad’s legs? No problem. At least I have legs. If I didn’t, the treadmill might be tricky.  Too much belly? Nothing some cardio and crunches can’t fix.

Point is – at that very moment, I decided to make some permanent changes… as well as some attitude changes.

Screw this back and forth shit. If I am going to do something – I am going to do away with the excuses and JUST DO IT – and keep doing it. No matter how many different dwellings I find myself in over the course of my lifetime – my body is really the only one I’ll ever have, and if I am going to be living in it- I best be happy with it.

I found it disconcerting how many people forget about their bodies and spend tireless hours fixing their house or their car. Material things that really have no baring on whether or not you have life.

I adopted a pretty vigorous fitness schedule. Not quite drill-sergeant-ish, but enough to make some of my friends question what it would take for me to skip a fitness class.  I also never once called it a diet. Diet, to me, sounds like a chore.

The moment I decided to think differently about myself is when I started to notice change taking place. Over the course of a few months I dropped 3 sizes and soon enough found myself at a healthy size 8. That wasn’t a number I had seen in a few years.

The physical changes were nice, but it was what happened on the inside that got a make over. I had more energy, more determination, and pushing through the challenges and the discomfort allowed me to relay that to my personal life. Every work out started to feel better than the last and never felt like a chore –  I knew even though I was going to be able to fit that dress I wanted – I was changing what was on the inside.

Change begins in the mind, followed by action and commitment.

I would probably say yes to that second date… as long as it doesn’t interrupt with my Spin class.

 


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Posted June 10 by miss_t in category "Life Lessons", "Perspective", "Thoughts", "Uncategorized

About the Author

Hi. I'm Tanis. Most people refer to me as "T". I am a writer. I tell real life stories with a spiritual and sarcastic twist. I guarantee to either make you laugh, make you think, or put you to sleep. I like wine, art, laughter, travel and words. Authenticity is my aim. Proper punctuation is not.

4 COMMENTS :

  1. By Annie on

    Your such an amazing Writer they way you describe
    What others may be feeling or going Thru!!

    Thanks for this great piece I can Sooooo Relate-

    Reply
  2. By Mandy on

    Tanis, you’ve done an amazing job at transforming yourself inside and out! Your determination is awe inspiring and you really have come full circle. The love you have for yourself and the time you have to work on it is one to be envious of :) Keep it up girl, so many look up to you. xo.

    Reply
    1. By miss_t (Post author) on

      Mandy – you are every bit as inspiring yourself!

      Reply
  3. By ralf chlipalski on

    I have nothing to add but excuses for my yo-yoing. None of the changes I’ve made are healthy. I can starve for weeks and the only discomfort I feel is boredom, that there’s nothing to look forward to day after day. After 40 days the blackouts begin so I’m forced to stop. I’ve gotten rid of all my friends and most of my family because social life seems to be only about eating. You can’t just say no without world war III breaking out so I told them all to F off. The only friend left won’t take F off for an answer. She has actually been able to drop 30 lbs in no time and keep it off on the Dramatic Weightloss Diet. It’s expensive and requires rigor, not just simple starvation but following eating instructions to the letter. Something my former job would not allow. Actually, that’s just another excuse, putting my life on a timetable sounds unbearable to me.

    Reply

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