April 8

Criticizing… criticism.

criticism1

I’m going to be hypocritical-ish and rant about one of the things I am most critical about – criticism. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is criticism. Not the useful, constructive kind – but the unnecessary, bully-like, pathetic jargon that offers no intrinsic value.

I usually put my see-no-evil-hear-no-evil blinders on in most cases – but sometimes some of the stuff I see and hear drives me bat-shit crazy. Whyyyyyyy do we not see how useless this is? I could easily seclude myself, and I do to a large degree, but as someone that enjoys being social and connecting with many, I often come across things that make me shake my head at humanity. Shame, shame.

criticism1If I had written this two plus years ago, I would have been the pot calling the kettle black.  One of my most successful past-times was offering up a critical analysis of people I didn’t even know. The more people that enjoyed it and found it entertaining, the more it pushed me to continue. In the end, it only elevated my ego and did not have any real service to my evolution as a human. They say you keep repeating the same mistake until you learn the lesson. Luckily, I did around the 104,957th time (give or take a few thousand).

The other day I logged into one of my social networking sites and the first thing I saw was photo prompting viewers to share their one word opinion of an over-weight woman wearing something that perhaps wasn’t the most flattering. Was it attractive by ‘societal standards’? No, probably not.

But, who cares?

Apparently many.

Thousands of people whose lives have been grossly affected by such a travesty.

OMG. Those courageous souls! Still offering up their own derogatory commentaries – even after they’ve had their eyeballs violated and are still graciously giving another few moments of time to weigh in – ON TOP of the ten seconds they just claimed they will never get back .

How generous!

It’s not limited to a random photo on a Twitter feed or a Facebook page – which I get is an (un)necessary evil, really. Media and celebrity gossip columns are great, too. This is where we get to ignore our own lives, utilize our degree in psychology and  provide endless opinions on someone else’s life – without even knowing the true person on the inside.

Part of life? Maybe. We certainly were not born with it though, so I can’t fully agree. Life is pretty short and I find it saddening how much time we – as humans – spend focusing on everyone else but ourselves.

Think about how awesome it would feel to know yourself just as well as you know the person you’re focusing on!

And for those that get the pleasures of unleashing the critiquing – please, tell me the secrets of having a mistake-free life? Humans are dying to know! (No pun intended).

The point is – it’s very easy to get involved in all the banter, especially if the subject is not something that fits your own views. The one thing I try to do is look for commonalities rather than differences. We aren’t that different. Beyond form, we’re all comprised of the same essence. Everyone is on the same journey from different starting points.

Knowing that, what’s to criticize?

Be mindful of the words you say. Next time you choose to chime in, ask yourself if your intentions come from a positive or negative motivation. Humans are the greatest mirrors for our own selves. What you criticize in one usually lies within your own self – and why would you want to bring yourself down?

Now that I’ve written an hypocritical, criticizing, opinionated piece on criticism… rant = over.

 


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Posted April 8 by miss_t in category "Life Lessons", "Thoughts", "Uncategorized

About the Author

Hi. I'm Tanis. Most people refer to me as "T". I am a writer. I tell real life stories with a spiritual and sarcastic twist. I guarantee to either make you laugh, make you think, or put you to sleep. I like wine, art, laughter, travel and words. Authenticity is my aim. Proper punctuation is not.

7 COMMENTS :

  1. By Matt Maresca on

    This is great! I wish more people had this attitude. Actually, I bet more people do think this way than let on. It’s become somewhat of a social ritual to criticize. One day, I was having breakfast with a friend and she was making fun of somebody, then she laughed and said “I’m such an a-hole”. It was as if it’s the cool thing these days. I guess part of it is that if you bring down someone else then you think you’ll look better in comparison, and maybe get a few laughs in the process. Cheap humor for you, expensive for the target.

    You’re right, it’s hard to ignore. It’ll probably never go away, but at least we can create our own focus!

    Reply
  2. By Jordan Smith on

    Unfortunately Miss Tanis, it has become the norm to label people into too many pre determined areas! Are we a critical society…yes unfortunately we have become very criticial of others when “we” as people need to be more critical of our words our actions our processes! We need to realize that what we say or what we do has effects and we need to be more responsible personally for those effects. Its not a game to critize or even personally enjoyable, I wish to take this time to remind others we can only love or dislike something in others that we love or dislike within ourselves! Live honorable and be respectful, keep the criticisms to as minimal as possible hold yourself accountable first and foremost

    Reply
  3. By Brent S on

    “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.”

    ― Dale Carnegie

    Reply
  4. By PhilyBlogs on

    Great write up! Unfortunately a lot of the world still relies on bringing people down to bring themselves up. The world is full of judgement and reading this article and seeing it in media and other around me actually motivates me more to be the opposite of these “Negative Nancies”. Thanks for that Miss Tanis :)

    Reply
    1. By miss_t (Post author) on

      Thanks for the comments. Yes that is true – everything has it’s own equal opposite and works to create balance. If it’s prompting you to be a better person, that’s great – and that too, has a ripple effect. There will always be negativity/criticism/judgement… but perhaps the more we are consciously aware of it, the more we can work towards replacing it with something else. :)

      Reply
  5. By Mandy on

    Yes!! You nailed it T! I have been trying my hardest to live judgement free, I must say it is a beautiful world without it!

    Reply

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