In 32 years, I have not celebrated ‘Valentine’s Day’, save for the bags of Hershey Kisses and trinkets my Mom would give me when I was younger (thank you Mom). I have yet to have someone Cho-Cho-Choose me.
As of this moment, I have been single for nearly nine years.
Not that I’m counting or anything, but that’s:
444 weeks and 3 days
While there are plenty of folks that don’t give a flying f*** about V-Day, there are always those that always feel a little bit ‘singled out’ while walking the grocery store aisles littered with love. It is also possible to feel both, simultaneously. I know I do at times.
As much as I would love to collide shopping carts with my life partner, I’m also an advocate of spending time single. Over the years, I’ve learned more about myself than some do in a life time. It hasn’t been easy by any stretch of the imagination, however there are some life lessons to learn that one should never live without.
If you are sick of seeing red and feeling blue, here are five reasons why being single isn’t totally terrible…
1. Because personal happiness should never be contingent on whether or not you have someone in your life. Finding your own source of happiness is key. Figure out what floats your boat and go do it. I know too many people that are only happy if they are in a relationship. Too many people that place their own value on whether or not they are coupled up. We all end up alone at some point in our lives, if you don’t know how to be happy with the person you are with (yourself), life is going to be a very shitty time for you when it happens. If you don’t want to be with you, why would anyone else want to? Being single is the opportunity to develop the ultimate relationship – with yourself.
2. Relationships are a big deal. When the right one comes along – you hope it is for life. At least I do. Finding a good relationship is life is like finding a good job. There’s always going to be those soul sucking crap jobs in between, and it may take you years to find the one that resonates with you. Do you really want to be stuck at a job you hate for the rest of your life? Gross. There’s always going to be those people stuck in those crap jobs, because there’s always people who are willing to settle out of fear of not being able to pay their bills, much like those who settle out of fear of being alone. Do you really want to be stuck with someone for the rest of your life that you can just barely tolerate? Don’t settle. There’s far too many people stuck in relationships they aren’t happy with – if you’re single, you don’t have this problem. The options are wide open, my loves.
3. This one is for the group of singles that are kid free. There are a lot of folks that are happily married and enjoy the family life (I salute you)… but if you are like me, in your 30s and have yet to tie the knot and pop out a few babies, don’t dwell. Yes, there are some who feel their life calling is to be parents. I’m not one of them, which is a good thing, because judging by the quality of dates I’ve been on in the last near-decade, I suspect it may last another nine years and by that time I’ll be near menopausal. However, if your biological clock is ticking and it’s starting to look bleak – realize there are many ways to find fulfillment in life that don’t always involve kids. Until the time is right, which may or may not happen, find a way to leave your own legacy. Because you know what is sweeter than the sound of a baby crying and more entertaining than dodging poop? The ability to do whatever the f*ck you want, when you want.
4. V-Day is a commercial holiday designed to take your money. Nothing more than a visit from Saint Valentine, the Patron Saint of overpriced crap used to show your unwavering affection. The sentiment is nice, but love should be shared every day. We shouldn’t need a reminder. If you find yourself single on V-Day – don’t sweat it. Think of the dollars you are saving in our unfortunate economy. Which brings me to my next point.
5. More wine. Yes, being single means you don’t have to share with anyone if you don’t want to. Take all those dollars you just saved and go by yourself a
bottle box of liquid candy and enjoy (responsibly). Toast yourself and dream up all the things you want to attract into your life. Better yet, go do them.
See, it’s not so bad, is it?
Having said that, being single definitely does have its pit-falls at times. Craving human connection and closeness is natural. I’ve longed for it daily. How cool would it be to have someone you connect with on every level? Pretty neat, I’d imagine. But that being said, there is nothing that trumps loving yourself unconditionally first and foremost – essential to attracting someone who will do just the same. Enjoy your freedom while you have it, even if it lasts nine romance-less years. Being single can either be really shitty, or pretty damn amazing – it’s all on how you look at it.
Oh and as a side note – I graciously accept wine, chocolates (great for PMS week), flowers and dinners. “He” is out there somewhere… until then, I will treat myself.
But seriously, man… hurry the hell up, would ya?!
I’M WAITING PATIENTLY AND MY WRINKLES ARE NOT!