June 10

Just Super!

mr

It never fails me, when I step into that zone of good energy – the flow – and truly focus on it – more and more miracles and synchronicities find their way into my life.

I like to call it magic. It’s out there, it happens – and the more you put out, the more you get back. Sometimes it even comes with a good chuckle.

I just got back from some travel in Europe so I’ve been on a tight budget lately, trying to get caught up on some bills. I’ve been planning to attend charity fundraiser in another city in a couple of weeks – a rather exclusive one that I wouldn’t miss for the world – and this year’s charitable focus hits close to home, so I’ve budgeting extra carefully as some folks tend to dig quite deep in their pockets at this particular event.

Details aside, I’ve been paying great attention to shifting my thoughts and focusing on gratitude, rather than ever coming from a place of lack (not just now… always.. but lately it’s been a bit more pronounced). I’ve also silently asking the universe for small miracles to help make the next few weeks less stressful.

And BAM! Just like that, they come.

It was Sunday and I had to get my usual grocery shopping done… so I head to the supermarket.  After a drive through the parking lot and seeing how busy it was, I changed my mind and decided to go somewhere else.

I finally settle on a supermarket and I couldn’t help but notice there was a guy shopping with a girl… no big deal, except for the fact that  he’s dressed like Super Mario, minus the mustache.

SUPER MARIO!

mariowingWTF.. and also, suhweet!

His jumpsuit was a bit on the tight side and I was kind of giggling a bit because I thought it was entertaining. I minded my own business and carried on… grabbing about $100 worth of stuff and (trying) to count it out in my head so that I wouldn’t go over budget (which never works and I failed math class at least twice.. lost count after the first two tries). 

I end up behind him at the till and he says to the cashier, “I’ll get this girls stuff too”. I thought that’s what I had heard but I wasn’t sure. Then he just stood there, blocking the debit machine.

I’m like, WHAT is going on?! Stunned. I don’t know who was more confused, myself or the cashier is who was also like, “Ummm what?!”

He wouldn’t move out of my way. I just stared at him with a dazed and confused, dumbfounded look in my eyes. All I could squeak out was, “Umm… that’s my stuff…”

“Yeah? And? What’s your point? I got this one covered!”

WHAT?!” No really, you don’t need to do that…”

The girl says, “No use arguing with him, I’ve tried.. doesn’t work.. and he’s Super Mario!…”

So he pays for my stuff and says, “Don’t sweat it, random act of kindness…”

So I start bagging my groceries and they walk out. I walked outside and scanned the parking lot and see them sitting in a truck, smiling and waving.

I made my way to their truck and ask him what’s with the outfit? He laughs and says, “Sunday Funday, I’m trying to get laid!”

I laughed, said thank you, and wished him well on his ‘mission’… I’m shocked still…

He says, “Pay it forward.. Keep calm and chive on!”

BEST. THING. EVER.

Sometimes I get annoyed with the whole ‘keep calm’ pop culture thing… but running into a Chiver feels pretty darn great!

calm

April 30

The Magic Within

skRiver

I mentioned not long ago that I’ve begun to work on my first book. Well, technically – I wrote and illustrated my first short story at the age of four, but for some reason there weren’t too many publishers that were interested.  I can say with 111% certainty that it’s one of the harder things I’ve attempted – however, I have no doubt it will come together one word at a time.

What is my book about? Great question! I have no idea. I’m letting it flow together on its own. I’m pretty excited to see what transpires – who knows, maybe it will end up in the recycle bin. Maybe it will end up on a bookshelf. The opportunities are endless, really.

I wanted to share a small section of the words that have been piecing themselves together. This is just one small, magical story in the many I’ve written about so far… hope you enjoy!

 

******

“The Early Days and the Magic Within”

“Even though I had let go of the constraints of Religion and opened myself up to more – if someone would have told me ten years ago that I would one day be communicating with Angels and Spirit Guides, receiving signs and messages from an infinite higher power I would have LOL’d. Maybe even laughed my ass right off.

As if.

I had associated anything that came from bigger realms to Religion and I did not believe in Religion, so why would I believe in anything bigger than me?

However, I always did have a high awareness my entire life and had a pretty good understanding of synchronicity and karma – but, the idea that I could communicate with anything beyond what I could see with my own eyes seemed pretty ridiculous, never mind whimsical light-filled beings from the heavens.

Give me an effing break.

However,

We all have them. Magical abilities that have been tapped into and forgotten about – often hidden away under layers of ego, illusion – and buried under a lifetimes’ of built up fears. Clairsentience (clear feeling), claircognizance (clear knowing), clairvoyance (clear seeing) and clairaudience (clear hearing) -more intelligently known as metaphysical senses… but let’s face it, life is more interesting when you can say you’re capable of magic.

That is really what it is. Whether or not you pay attention to your own magic is up to you.

clairaudioIt has been my claircognizance and clairaudience that have been my strongest senses and despite having my ego around neither have never really left me, but rather been dormant at times. Underneath it all, however, I’ve always had a sense of clear hearing and knowing that has been far beyond what my egoic mind communicates to me. It’s only been in the past couple years that I have learned to tap into these abilities more frequently.

When I am in a meditative or lucid state, I am often able to pick up others conversations rather easily. I haven’t yet mastered this completely, but it works much like an AM/FM radio. I don’t necessarily know the location or who I am tuning in to, but nonetheless I often hear some pretty interesting things. And I hear them distinctly. Communicating directly with Universal Intelligence is an entirely different story which I will get into later in this book.

My first realizations that was something ‘different’ where when I was a child. I often felt like I didn’t fit in. I didn’t have many friends in school and I was often made fun of for being ‘too quiet’. At certain times I was ridiculed by my members of my family for not talking enough.  I was always the last one chosen for any team (thanks a lot, by the way) and I usually stood on the sidelines as others assembled their play groups during recess break. I simply preferred to observe. I found that I was usually quite aware of my surroundings and I seemed to notice more and knew things that most others around me did not.

I never really did talk about anything because it often appeared that I was the only one in my environment that saw things ‘differently’. I suppressed many of these things for the majority of my life. As a child, feeling out of place can result in fearing the way you feel into your adult life.

Into my early adult life, I also had an incredibly strong intuition and the ability to visualize things that I just simply KNEW as truths (claircognizance). There were times when information would come to me and I didn’t know how, but it did… sometimes I would hear it in a distinctive voice  that was not my own (clairaudience) and other times I would see it more vividly than the things I saw with my eyes.  As I grew older and nestled into a life led by my ego my intuition remained strong but my ‘magic’ was easily ignored and became much more sporadic over the years.

I can recall very clearly several experiences where I have been able to utilize my metaphysical senses, probably without even being conscious that I was doing so. The difference between now and then, is that I’ve become acutely aware of it.

Here’s one of my favorite recollections:

Diamond in the Rough

My Mother was notorious for misplacing her car keys and wallet – so when it happened (at least a mildly exaggerating once a month), we would roll our eyes and just assume that it was like any other time and it would show up eventually.

This time was different; someone had stolen her entire purse. She was more frantic than usual and there have been few times in my life I have seen her quite so distraught. Like the vast majority of the female population, she carried her life in her purse. Any female that is reading this, can probably relate. I remember losing my wallet once and it was damn near the end of my world.

What was different about this time is that aside from the usual mementos and photos she carried with her, she also had a small diamond pendant in her wallet that was meant to be worn on a chain. For as long as I remember she always had this with her as it was from a dear friend whom she cherished greatly. The chain had broken and she had been meaning to get it repaired.

She was upset for days and I heard her say that the only thing she wished was that if nothing else could be replaced, she only wished to have the diamond pendant back. Everything else was replaceable.

About a week had passed and while she had begun the process of replacing things, she was still feeling a lost without her keepsake. Then one day, the police had called and said that they had found her purse in the alleyway behind a Church downtown. She retrieved the purse but the wallet was still missing. About another week later, out of the blue, a man had called and told my Mother that he had found her wallet.

My Mother set out to meet the man and retrieve her wallet. She gave him a cash reward for finding her wallet, which remarkably had all of its contents still intact. She asked the man where he had found it, and the intoxicated man muttered that he had found it along the riverbank, and that was it.

I remember my Mother returning home feeling rather relieved that she had her wallet back. There was something that was missing, however – the diamond pendant.

“Well where did he find it, Mom? Maybe we can go look for it?” I asked.

“Along the riverbank, Tanis.. it could be anywhere.”

My emphatic nature could sense how disappointed she was. Of all things to be missing – a small diamond pendant that probably had no big monetary value – the value was in the sentiment it meant to my Mother. And it was true – with a riverbank that runs through the entire city, the charm that was half the width of my pinky nail could really be anywhere. It was best to just forget about it and accept it as a personal loss and move on.

A couple weeks later, my Mother and I had an argument. I don’t remember what the argument was about, but I will place my bets on it being nothing of real merit and mostly me being a 16 year old teenager full of angst. I was a teenager with a lot of attitude, which I am sure my Mother would love for me to discuss, but I would need another book just for that (sorry, Mom).

As our argument became more heated, all I could think about was running away and finding a way for my Mother to not be so angry with me. I thought to myself, maybe if I can do something amazing like find my Mother’s diamond, she won’t be upset anymore. I laughed at the utter ridiculousness at the thought and slammed the door of my parents’ house and hopped into my pseudo sports car (’89 Ford Probe, in case you’re wondering).

It was pouring rain out and I was in my pyjamas. I don’t even think I was wearing shoes. I just wanted to get away. As I sat there with the keys in the ignition a vivid voice and startling image nestled into my mind.

“Go find her treasure,” it said.

“Huh?!”

“Go find your Mother’s diamond.”

“What in the f…”

skRiverI saw it clear as day. There, along the riverbank was a small shed and around the corner of it was a bike lying on the ground with one tire missing. And there the diamond pendant was sitting.

This is stupid, I thought. That could be anywhere. But I had nowhere else to go, other than back inside and continue being a snarky teenager and fight with my parents some more. So, what the hell… Why not go check out the legitimacy of this ‘vision’.

So I started driving and stopped by a girlfriend’s house down the block. I banged on the door and as soon as she answered I told her to get in my car because I was going to go find my Mother’s diamond.

“What?! Tanis, that’s crazy… it’s pouring rain outside and how the hell do you expect to find something like that along the riverbank… do you have any idea how silly that sounds?!”

“Just get in the car,” I said. “I’ll show you”.

So we drove down to the river. I parked my car and my girlfriend followed behind me. I’m sure she thought that rather than needing a raincoat, I likely needed a straight jacket instead. Regardless, I kept walking. I didn’t say very much and I felt as though I wasn’t even doing the walking – something else was guiding me.

I crossed the bridge and went down some stairs. There, in a clearing, I saw it. A small shed. Woah. As I walked closer I saw a penny on the ground and picked it up. As I felt it in my hands, I had a strong feeling come over me. A feeling that is beyond what words alone can describe.

“This penny was in my Mother’s wallet,” I said to my friend.

“Okay… Tanis… Whatever you say…”

I turned the corner to go around the other side of the shed. There, lying on the ground was the same bike I saw in my vision – with a tire missing. Without even much scanning I looked to the ground and right there, lodged in the mud – was a tiny purple sparkle.

Well, holy shit.

“I found it! I really found it!” I picked up the diamond pendant and put it in a cassette tape case I had in my purse (Bon Jovi, Crossroads… in case you were wondering).

“How?! Tanis how??” my friend asked.

“I don’t know… but my Mother is going to go crazy when she sees this!!”

I felt like I hit the jackpot and I jetted home. There is no frigging way I am going to be grounded after finding this gem! Literally.

I walked into the house with the biggest grin on my face.

“Mom I have something for you!” I exclaimed to my stern-faced, eye-brow raised, arm-crossed Mother.

I pulled out the cassette case and gave it to her. Dropping into her hand was the diamond pendant and she looked at me with a kind of bewildered amazement.

“Oh my God… How? How did you find this?”

“I don’t know Mom, I really don’t know. I just had a feeling.”

“What do you mean feeling? How did you know?!”

“I just knew Mom. I just knew.”

Needless to say, our little argument had ended. ”

*******

So there you have it – one of many short excerpts of my book. Questions? Comments? Your own stories of magic? Let me know! Maybe it will motivate me to write faster.

Don’t forget… you have the magic within you. You’ve always had it.

***

(Image Source: Image 1,  Image 2)

March 24

Deep Thoughts About Some Thoughts

right

I haven’t been blogging as much because I am working on my first book and I don’t want to give away toooo many of my stories here. Speaking of book writing, it is proving to be the most frustrating thing EVER.

I am quickly discovering the many stages of writing a book, which go a little like:

Write, edit, delete, writer’s block, ****ing curse, curse louder, tiny creative moment, omg write it down now!, delete, throw shit, wine, write like a mad man, more wine, headache, whine, edit, repeat.

Anyway… that’s not what this is about – but that’s more or less what I’ve been working on. I would love to share what guided me to that decision, because it is really quite miraculous – but I’m also saving that for my book.

What was I going to say again?

Don’t mind my A.D.D… holy shit there’s actually sunshine happening outside! Oh, right… anyway… I’ve noticed that I generally write when things are on the up and up. Positivity! Great! But, I’m human and I don’t always have sunshine blowing out my rear end. Sometimes, there are times when I feel like, how can I possibly share an inspirational story when that is the last thing I feel?

I find that I am pretty good at helping others get past some of their own negative self talk – and it is really quite astounding how many souls have come into my journey lately and have been opening their eyes to things about themselves that they hadn’t seen before. It’s quite rewarding, actually. But when my turn comes and I’m in the midst of one of my own pity parties (which are many), good luck getting me to leave. My own stubborness to flip my frown upside down despite how many things I have to be grateful for is sometimes my own worst enemy.

thoughts1It’s one of those things about myself that I continually work on. I don’t think the key is to boycott any feeling of sadness, but rather to honour every emotion (energy in motion) and to be mindful of where our thoughts take us, as they have a vital role in creating our environment.

The last couple years I’ve been incredibly unhappy with where I am at in my professional life. All  I have been able to think of is how stuck I feel, how I am not doing what I should be doing and how I am not living up to my true potential. There are some days I feel as though I am a waste (sounds morbid, but I have no other way of putting it) and I’m pretty sure I’ve shed tears daily for the last couple years consecutively. There is something about it that causes me a great deal of sadness. I’ve had a number of hopeful opportunities fall through the cracks, and I consistently think that sometimes I shouldn’t even bother because no one is going to give me a chance, anyway. Then again, I am the only one in charge of creating my own opportunities – and I am also in charge of sabotaging them with my thoughts – which I do, before they even happen.

I know for a fact, what I am doing is not something that is aligned with my soul or gives me any type of fulfillment.  Sure, I suppose this is likely true of 98% of the working population, but in my mind very few of us are able to move beyond these feelings because we are limited by our own negative thought patterns.

Some people might say, “suck it up, that’s life.” But I beg to differ. That is not life. That is what we are accustomed to thinking. Out of an infinite universe containing billions upon billions of other universes, I certainly did not come to this tiny rock of all places for no reason at all. I have shit to do and my soul knows when I am not doing what I am here to do. In the same breath, that is not entirely correct because I know I am always exactly where I need to be in any given moment… but ‘exactly where I need to be’  isn’t always a place I particularly like. And in another breath, there is always a lesson to be learnt in the place we are.

Long story short, I’ve been spending a good chunk of the last while solely focusing on how I feel stuck and nothing else.

What I get in return? MORE AND MORE of the same. And more! I am creating my very own reality.

The same thing goes with finances. I’ve gotten by for the majority of my life, but the perpetual thought in my mind is always one of:

“I can’t afford it. I can’t do this, I can’t do that. Every time I get a little bit ahead, something happens. I can’t. I don’t have enough. I can’t, I can’t I can’t. Somebody call the wahhhhmublance because I can’t stop crying about everything I can’t do!”

… and the list goes on. My thoughts consistently operate from a place of lack, rather than gratitude for what I do have.

As a result? Even more of the same. In fact, just the other week, I was thinking about how there is something coming up for me that I can’t afford – and guess what? My car broke down.

Energy goes where attention flows.
Energy goes where attention flows.
ENERGY GOES WHERE ATTENTION FLOWS.

This is not some generic statement that we hear over and over again – it is truth.
rightThe things is, I KNOW that this is happening… I am acutely aware of it, but yet I continually get in the way of my own self. I can very easily look at some of my other thoughts and intentions of things I have wanted to manifest into my life that and how they have unfolded almost perfectly. Effortlessly. Some of them are absolutely mind blowing and still leave me and those in my life rather speechless. Things that the vast majority of people would tell me, “Get real, that chances of that happening are impossible.”  I would love to share them, but I am also saving that for my book.

I also have a friend that I have known for a few years. For as long as I’ve known her, she has always talked about how she is secretly a millionaire. Quite honestly, all she does is talk about how much money she has. She is forever speaking about how she can do just about anything because she has the finances to do it. She doesn’t do anything differently than me, but every time I see her – she seems to have even more. On the other hand, she consistently talks about how alone she is and how the potential romantic partners she meets are always of the same breed – abusive and controlling. She talks about how she will never meet anyone that compliments her and how she is destined to be alone and miserable forever.

For the past couple years I have known her, I have heard her thoughts – which are always the same. It is quite astounding to watch as what she thinks about, is created.

Changing  your thought pattern isn’t the easiest thing to do. I struggle with my own every minute of every day. Almost every time I run into a challenge or something that hasn’t worked out (which is often because there is something better coming that we can’t yet see), I immediately fall into the trappings of my negative thought patterns. Almost always, I throw a tantrum and right away I say, “that’s it! I’m done! I’m done hoping for things to work out because they never do! Why bother if it always leads to disappointment?! WHYYYY!!”

When I think that way, I begin to believe it. When I believe it, I put energy into it and ultimately I continue to create more of the same. And that, right there – is one of my biggest personal challenges.

Having said that, I’m thinking I’m about to change all of that.

I originally had other intentions for this post – there was something entirely different I was going to rant about. Perhaps, I will save that for my book as well.

Where do your thoughts take you? What are YOU creating for yourself?