June 10

Say Good Bye to the Yo-Yo

Part of being single for an extended period of time is the journey through self awareness and the analysis of the self that comes along with it. Some people do not focus on this, some do, and some go through a period of complete enlightenment.

I’ve always had a pretty good awareness of my own self – because really, I’ve hung out with that person a lot over the last few years.

It wasn’t so long ago, however, that despite my best efforts – I was uncomfortable with my physical self. I have always had battles with weight my entire life, yoyo-ing back and forth between the ‘skinny pants’ and the ‘fat pants’ .  I’ve never been excessively ‘large’, but I’ve also never been that super skinny chick at the beach, either. I don’t really want to be.

There was a point last year, however, where I found myself hitting an all time low (kind of an oxymoron I guess… more like an all time high)… and even my ‘fat pants’ didn’t fit. I had tipped the scale at 200lbs.. hitting a size 12-14 – which wasn’t much, but for me, my frame, height, and my own personal self – it was downright uncomfortable.

The number on the scale though is besides the point. I was not the best I could be and I wasn’t fully happy with myself. I was only happy ‘enough’. And what’s the fun in happy enough – when there can be more?

Someone once told me, that before you can begin to make changes you need to positively accept that which you currently have.

So I did.

I sat naked in front of the mirror and stared into my own eyes day after day until I could come to a place of acceptance. That being said, there is a difference between acceptance and being content. Contentment keeps you in the same place.

I had been so consumed with my outside surroundings and ‘things’ that we perceive as ‘home’ that I had forgotten about my real home. My own body.

When you really pay attention to it, it’s a pretty amazing thing. I decided that I would stop focusing on what I didn’t have in a negative fashion, and improve on what I did.

Dad’s legs? No problem. At least I have legs. If I didn’t, the treadmill might be tricky.  Too much belly? Nothing some cardio and crunches can’t fix.

Point is – at that very moment, I decided to make some permanent changes… as well as some attitude changes.

Screw this back and forth shit. If I am going to do something – I am going to do away with the excuses and JUST DO IT – and keep doing it. No matter how many different dwellings I find myself in over the course of my lifetime – my body is really the only one I’ll ever have, and if I am going to be living in it- I best be happy with it.

I found it disconcerting how many people forget about their bodies and spend tireless hours fixing their house or their car. Material things that really have no baring on whether or not you have life.

I adopted a pretty vigorous fitness schedule. Not quite drill-sergeant-ish, but enough to make some of my friends question what it would take for me to skip a fitness class.  I also never once called it a diet. Diet, to me, sounds like a chore.

The moment I decided to think differently about myself is when I started to notice change taking place. Over the course of a few months I dropped 3 sizes and soon enough found myself at a healthy size 8. That wasn’t a number I had seen in a few years.

The physical changes were nice, but it was what happened on the inside that got a make over. I had more energy, more determination, and pushing through the challenges and the discomfort allowed me to relay that to my personal life. Every work out started to feel better than the last and never felt like a chore –  I knew even though I was going to be able to fit that dress I wanted – I was changing what was on the inside.

Change begins in the mind, followed by action and commitment.

I would probably say yes to that second date… as long as it doesn’t interrupt with my Spin class.

 

May 27

Something New

If you’ve stumbled upon this blog before, you might be thinking… “hmm, this doesn’t look the same!”

Every chick needs to touch up now and then.

For the past five years, I’ve been known as ‘The Single Chick’. I’m pushing 30 years of age and have often been asked, “When are you going to meet someone and settle down?”

And for the past five years I touted my lack luster love life simply as ‘bad luck’ or even a ‘curse’, which was very true – as evidenced by some of my earlier posts on this site. My friends and coworkers had their own name for me… “Freak Magnet”. Most people didn’t believe the kinds of messages I would receive from my online dating pusuits, or experiences in general – some downright hilarious and others completely creepy. And the rest – indescribable, really.

A friend said, “You should really blog about them.”

I thought about it. I had a lot of comical experiences and it would be pretty funny… and since people often referred to me as a single chick… I figured I would write from that perspective.  But quite honestly, I was too lazy to do this ‘blogging’ thing.

Then, one night out of pure boredom – and being stood up on a blind date – I did.

I decided that if I was to be cursed in the ‘love’ department – I may as well make light of it and lace it heavy with sarcasm. Tongue in cheek, I began to document much of the outrageous-ness that comes along with the dating game.

And it was funny.

For a while.

After some 100 stories – it got old. (But still worth a laugh, so feel free to browse the archives!)

Anyway, even though I didn’t have to make any effort to attract some of the ‘unique’ characters I have – I also realized that despite my feelings of, “It’s not me, it’s them” – much of is was in fact ‘me’.

By focusing my energy on ‘them’ and my freaky magnetics – I was simply attracting more and more of the kinds of people I didn’t want to meet. And by focusing on my ‘perpetual’ single life – I was doing just that – becoming EVEN MORE perpetually single.

Perhaps Albert Einstein said it best:

“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting results.”

With every experience, people evolve (most, anyway)… and if we are not continuously growing… then there’s a problem!

While I might have adopted “The Single Chick” name… it doesn’t mean I have to continue to write about my own ‘single life’, when there is so much more to share other than bad dates.

I am still a single chick however…because after all… there is only one of me.

This site is a collection of some of my previous (highly sarcastic) stories, current thoughts, lessons learned… and really, just my own personal growth.